If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
