She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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