do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
