summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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