is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
