K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
