that's an acceptable place to lick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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