i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
