i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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