We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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