No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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