Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
