I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
