It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
