remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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