Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
