i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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