he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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