If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
