Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
