you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
