So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
