Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
