I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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