Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
two words...techno handjob
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
