yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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