dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
