Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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