He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
