North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
