So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
