hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
