who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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