we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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