i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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