Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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