Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
