Swine flu. Run for my life!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
