I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
