I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
