Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
