I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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