And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
