are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
