I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
