He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
