ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
