omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
