i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
