The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
