okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize