Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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