you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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