Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
