They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
