smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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