I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
