Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
