i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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