Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
