oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
