Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
